POETIC REVIVAL

I wasn't there for your birth I didn't see you grow Never got to know you Never even saw I loved you because of her I loved you because of shared blood I heard you were beautiful a free spirit wanting to brake away to be free and you did you broke away from your planet soared high into the sky you became a star a shooting star but you fell you fell burning burning with your desire for life and love left us with questions unanswered left your dreams for us your unfulfilled promises your unrealized life you were a star our shooting star

I look up and I see my father's reflection in the window reading with a cigarette in hand glasses perched on his nose a cup of coffee on the table, but it's my reflection I'm looking at, and I miss him. I'm cooking with fragrant herbs chopping, dicing, mincing washing pots and pans as I cook my wedding band making music ping ping ping this is how I remember my mother through the smells of my cooking the sounds of my kitchen and the taste of our meals. Now I'm sewing something, cutting the fabric carefully placing my left hand on the cloth using the scissors with my right it's my oldest sister's hands that I'm looking at when I would sit impatiently by her side as she made me pretty little girl dresses. I see them in me, I see me in them I look like all nine of my brothers and sisters I look like my mom and dad I am them, and they are me, this is our blood this is love.

Don't ask me how I am   Don't ask how I'm doing   Don't bother asking how I feel   I am raw with emotion It hurts too much, it hurts to feel, to think  Asking is like picking at my wounds Making blood flow like my tears   I am one soul living two lives   Feeling for two, hurting for two   Going mad.

It's come again, this dammed wind  rattling my nerves and windows, scattering leaves and lives, braking my favorite potted plants turning the garden chairs upside down littering my pool  with flower petals and bird feathers, tossing my hair and thoughts every which way,  howling, roaring, wailing like a madman, protesting life's injustices, flinging all restraint  whimpering like a defeated child  dying, exhausted coiling around itself, winding down, spent weeping.   This crazy, insane, lunatic wind its' me, I feel sorry, for this wind, and me.