Showing posts from October, 2009

Welcome To My World

I don't want to be the person who is not happy unless she is miserable, don't want to feel like this at all, ever. Don't want to explain why I can't, I've done it too many times to me it's obvious to anyone who knows me it should be. I wonder how other people feel? normal people, do they think why they are here? what their purpose in life is? do they question their existence? do they constantly want to know if life is worth living? Or are they just enjoying the journey. Are their days filled with fun things to do places to go, people to see? How dose it feel not to think all the time not to question everything not to measure, to weigh, to compare try to find the good always careful not to hurt not to destroy, to pollute to alter try to create something beautiful, meaningful, lasting anything to breath deeply to breath and not smell despair how dose it feel?

Going Home

Sometimes, it's the way that sunlight picks through the curtains sometimes it's a familiar smell I can't recall a song, a melody heard from afar, tonight it was the city lights flickering in the distant as I was driving on the 210 they all transport me home for one magical, precious moment. Returning from summer vacation in the crowded back seat of our car tired and sleepy eyed we would smile in the dark when the city lights would appear beyond the hills thinking that we were almost home that our beds were waiting for us warm and cool at the same time. I know, and yet I don't know why i t makes me sad to think of home maybe because that home exists only, in my memories like my parents, it's long gone maybe my now is so bleak that the past always seems better happier, kinder somehow But I know better Because I remember The summers of suffocating boredom in our small town When the library was all we had